Have you ever left a meeting feeling like your input was dismissed, or that your expertise just wasn't trusted?That uncomfortable feeling often has little to do with you personally and more to do with the team dynamic around you. When a team isn't clicking, it's tempting to focus on individuals. The person who talks over others. The one who shuts down in meetings. The feedback that never lands right.But after 20 years of leading teams in gaming, tech and entertainment, I've frequently seen common patterns: tricky team dynamics usually aren't about individuals, they're about the system they're working in.In nearly every case I've coached or led, tension between team members could be traced back to two root causes:Misalignment on vision, goals, or roles.Communication breakdowns: misunderstandings, poor listening, or low trust.Often, it's a bit of both and leads to many bad decisions and inefficiencies.I'll explore the first root cause, misalignment on goals and vision in a future post. Today, let's dive into the second one, communication breakdowns: what they look like, how they impact team performance, and how you can shift the dynamic.<h2 id="ac8456a4-bbf5-4839-a5c1-a86fff2d5046" data-toc-id="ac8456a4-bbf5-4839-a5c1-a86fff2d5046" style="font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">The Communication Gap: What It Looks Like</h2>You might recognise some of these signs:<ul><li>Feedback feels like criticism.</li><li>People speak, but no one really listens.</li><li>Disagreements escalate quickly, or worse, simmer in silence.</li><li>Meetings end with decisions no one fully supports.</li></ul>These are not signs of a dysfunctional team, they're signs of a team that hasn't learned how to communicate in a healthy, collaborative way.<hr><h1 id="600f9995-24ca-4358-a470-f6c4300f295b" data-toc-id="600f9995-24ca-4358-a470-f6c4300f295b" style="font-size: 32px; line-height: 1.2;">6 Practical Tools to Improve Communication</h1>Here are a few simple, coach-approved techniques to turn things around.<h2 id="1ff5ed57-7f64-4a8c-bfe5-1ef34bb2136b" data-toc-id="1ff5ed57-7f64-4a8c-bfe5-1ef34bb2136b" style="font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">1. Reflective Listening</h2>Reflective listening is a powerful tool that can de-escalate tension and promote understanding. Before jumping to your response, pause and paraphrase what your teammate has said. This not only gives them the chance to feel heard but also ensures you fully grasp their perspective before reacting.<blockquote>"So what I'm hearing is that the timeline feels rushed and you're worried about quality, right?"</blockquote>This slows down conflict and builds mutual understanding.<h2 id="8cb03546-b686-4850-adc2-07652029ba2b" data-toc-id="8cb03546-b686-4850-adc2-07652029ba2b" style="font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">2. Decode the Message Before Reacting</h2>We tend to react immediately to what we perceive as personal attacks. Sometimes taking a deep breath and looking at it from a different angle helps.<blockquote>"This idea doesn't make any sense."</blockquote>What's heard: "You are bad at your job" What might be meant: "I'm confused and need more context." or "This is not a good fit for this target audience"Instead of reacting defensively, try:<blockquote>"Can you walk me through what feels unclear?" or "Can you share more about which part feels misaligned with our goals"</blockquote>This redirects the exchange from blame to problem-solving.<h2 id="da0edbe6-f669-4470-abde-e82e398f07d2" data-toc-id="da0edbe6-f669-4470-abde-e82e398f07d2" style="font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">3. Clarify Intentions in the Moment</h2>Sometimes tension rises not because of what was said, but how it's interpreted, especially in high-pressure marketing environments.<blockquote>"We've already tried this before."</blockquote>What's heard: "Your idea is useless." What might be meant: "I'm afraid we'll waste time and money again."Respond with:<blockquote>"Sounds like that experience didn't go well, what can we learn from it this time?"</blockquote>This acknowledges past challenges while inviting us to approach things differently.<h2 id="764e3fb6-5a81-4bee-a9d4-c14ea57d7bda" data-toc-id="764e3fb6-5a81-4bee-a9d4-c14ea57d7bda" style="font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">4. Practice Redirecting with Curiosity</h2>When emotions flare up, it often means that someone feels threatened, dismissed, or misunderstood and they respond with frustration, sarcasm, withdrawal, or even passive aggression. You've probably seen it (or felt it) in meetings:<ul><li>A sharp tone.</li><li>A defensive posture.</li><li>An eye-roll.</li><li>A sudden silence.</li></ul>In fast-paced environments, especially when pressure is high, this kind of emotional spike is common. But it's also a signal: someone's feeling unheard, undervalued, or anxious about impact. In those moments, curiosity is your best ally. Instead of matching the intensity, which often comes more naturally, slow things down and try to understand what's underneath.<ul><li>"Can you help me understand where you're coming from?"</li><li>"What's most important to you in this situation?"</li><li>"What's the impact you're worried about?"</li><li>"What do you need to see to feel reassured about this project?"</li></ul>This reduces defensiveness and builds space for empathy and active listening.<h2 id="9d460b98-48ce-4a06-8cdb-ae6616df92bf" data-toc-id="9d460b98-48ce-4a06-8cdb-ae6616df92bf" style="font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">5. Course-Correct When Needed</h2>Of course, no one is perfect. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, something comes out wrong. If you sense someone going into defensive mode because of how you said something, acknowledge it and adjust.<blockquote>"I realise that may have sounded harsh, that wasn't my intention."</blockquote>A quick course correction shows humility, preserves the relationship, and keeps the focus on collaboration. This should ideally be followed by reaffirming your shared intentions.<h2 id="e3b59cec-eff6-4cd5-9284-d8d12041a83e" data-toc-id="e3b59cec-eff6-4cd5-9284-d8d12041a83e" style="font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">6. Reaffirm Shared Intentions</h2>When a conversation starts to go off track, it helps to start by making your intentions clear. If the other person seems frustrated or defensive, a simple reassurance can reset the tone. Try saying:<blockquote>"I want this project to succeed just as much as you do. How can we move forward together in a way that works for both of us?"</blockquote>This kind of openness not only diffuses tension but reminds everyone that you're on the same team, even when you disagree.<h2 id="fb292cec-bba2-4a69-9a0d-23abfe093d07" data-toc-id="fb292cec-bba2-4a69-9a0d-23abfe093d07" style="font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">In Summary</h2>Team conflict isn't a sign something is broken, it's a signal something needs attention. Often, a few simple communication shifts can unlock trust, collaboration, and progress.<blockquote>"The most effective teams are not those that have the fewest problems, but those that learn fastest how to deal with them." - Peter Hawkins</blockquote>If you're navigating tense team dynamics, or want to proactively strengthen your team culture, discover how Sparking Waves can help.<a target="_blank" href="https://sparking-waves.com">Discover Sparking Waves</a>

Difficult team dynamics are rarely about individuals. After 20 years leading teams in gaming and tech, here are 6 practical communication tools to shift the pattern.

Why Difficult Team Dynamics Usually Aren't Personal (And What to Do About It)

The Communication Gap: What It Looks Like

6 Practical Tools to Improve Communication

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Why Difficult Team Dynamics Usually Aren't Personal (And What to Do About It)

Why Difficult Team Dynamics Usually Aren't Personal (And What to Do About It)

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